The Man Who Fails His Mind

 !CAUTION ALERT!

The content is a bit depressing, but it won't give you enough the thrilled. I just want to give you the pulse before i explain the reason i wrote this.
And the last one, THIS IS JUST A FICTION--IT'S NOT A REAL STORY and make sure you read the story first before read the author's note.

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       Sometimes, i did realize. I lived in a place that i’d never been into before when i knew that fiction has pulled me from reality. Day by day, it become more bigger than reality, and reality that i lived become less matter.

       I loved to define my own world as I planted a vision. The vision that is so vivid i could live in that forever. As long as i needed it, yet this world would ever not let me go living in it. World said it’s kinda bullshit.

       It had already deceived myself—my neuron—that I was a weird towards this world. I did realize that i wasn’t weird, I was mad, more than mad. it was a complexity anyone couldn't accept. And world didn't fit in me.

       As i looked deeper on my mind, the more i found the lack of clarity of what i had been missing, the concept of world.

       “Give me the six-pack. I need a bottle.” I licked my dry lips.

She stared at me with her perplexed eyes, but calm as the cold water in front of us. Confusing, she gave me a sigh.

       “You couldn’t do that.” She protested yet still tossed me a bottle of beer. She would never say no to my command.

      The warm sensation swam harshly through my throat as i sat deeper by the shore—dipping my feet to feel the cold water. I blankly wondered to myself that how did it feel to get drowned into that black water? Would it be really painful or wash away my lunacy instead?
Unfortunately, i didn't plan to do that tonight.

       She walked closer and threw a pebble into the sea before she plummeted her buck carefully beside of me, but she knew the distance. She did a gap.

       “You can’t use alcohol or injection anymore. It won’t help you enough.”

       Yes. She was right. Nothing on this world could even cure this crazy mind instead of brutally destroying this. I even never thought it would help anyway.

“They said, you can’t change people when the vision is still planted on their mind but is killing them.”

        She glanced confused and terrified at the same time. I could see her inner shadow of her shaped-almond eyes pricking my deepest soul. “B-but from vision of ones head will change the world.” She stuttered helplessly.

She was right too. But unfortunately, i was not the one. She just blurted up missing the point that world would never change into a vision that i suggested.

“How much do you need?” her voice was less lighter, she tugged me by my shoulders. What i couldn't realize next, she had already embraced me tightly.

I stared at her, but not letting myself react to her stupid gestures. It would harm her.

“Need of what?” i asked grumpily.

“Love. Peace. Happiness. Security. What else do you need?” I could feel she was shaking badly but her voice still calmed.

I put my right hand over her. I really couldn’t stand anymore. I need her. But..

  She forgot one thing, one thing that i needed was not come from this world--she would never understand that.

I embraced her enough, enough to not make any sound that would shriek her.

“You left me something.” I whispered before the tin cold surface that i gripped would fall from my sweaty fingers.

I could feel her heart pounding so hard, i was really sorry.

“I need freedom.” as loud as i could hear the stroke sound that giving me so much satisfied before i enter to my new journey of my own world.

—a false minded, the man who lost himself.

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Here's the author speaking.

So it was my first short-story as i intended to contain a lot of critical-thinking as you guys can do after reading this.

For you who haven't realized that i put two triggered in this story which are (intended again) inspired by false minded who destroyed someone's life and the reality that the world is dying and becoming more bad (bcs of natural disasters, human security threats, human evil, humans greedy, war, etc). From this short-story, i'm keen to trigger you into thinking how both topics are worth to discuss and to raise our awareness on how to deal with those issues.

Let me tell you behind of the story.
The man (with first POV) is the leading character of this short story, but the girl is the key to complete this story. He was trying to accept that what’s on his mind was the only thing he could believe. And he projected his mind that “world” is not enough satisfying his impulse of vision that he had been set up. He felt that he’s done with all of the material or non-material that “world” has given to him. That was stated “I even never thought it (the beer) would help anyway”. It’s not only to state that the beer can’t enough help him escape from that situation (get drunk and forget all the matters), but it also represents that even the thing that might help is not necessary again for him.

The second thinking, is that he blocked his mind to approve that there’s a lot of non-material things that can fulfil and save him enough to get out from his head-matters. When the girl asked what he needs, when she said all of the emotion things, it because she wanted to show him that those things could really matter to change his false minded. Yet he didn't understand, even when he said, “I need her. But..” he hadn't given a damn that “need her” could actually help him. That actually could help him get out. But still. He had already had false minded and it planted very deep.

And the end, he just begged for freedom as the way he projected what freedom he wanted. And you can make your own ending in this story. Because everything could happen even i knew you guys must be jumped into the conclusion that he shot himself or harmed the girl. But it’s not really matter in this story. The matter is that i want to highlight that false vision can really destroy ones life. It's not a matter on how much you stated is "right"—but actually its pulled you into a dark way until you could not hear the inner voice of what right and wrong. 

So, to end up this, just keep in mind that it’s good to believe in yourself what is right and wrong to give you principle. But don’t forget to open up your mind to see different things, even it hurts you or gives you so much hatred or sadness. Just trying to look the good sides and accept love. 

                                                                                                                              - Claracath